It’s claimed that Buddha once said, “Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care for people will hear them and be influenced by them for good or ill.” Regardless of who said it, this is still a good message to follow, because the relationships we build with people normally come down to the ways in which we speak to them. However, if I were to make one addendum to that statement, I would change it to “Whatever communication tactics we use should be chosen with care for people will acknowledge them and be influenced by them for good or ill.” This is because all forms or communication can effect how people see you, whether it’s verbal, nonverbal, intentional, unintentional or any of the other forms.
I once had a friend who told me that I spoke with my eyes. In many of the groups I am a part of, I tend to be on the quieter side and not speak as much as everyone else. After I heard that from them, I began to actually take note of the expressions I made, so that I could be more aware of the messages I was conveying to people. One trait that I was familiar with prior to this was that I would raise my right eyebrow whenever I was confused or intrigued by something. I eventually became aware of some of the traits, such as my eyes flaring when I was upset about something. Another thing I noticed is that I don’t keep eye contact with people, but there’s many different reasons I do that, ranging from me always trying to be aware of my surroundings to me wanting to talk or do something else.
I am also very expressive with my body language, especially with my hands and arms. I tend to make a lot of hand gestures when I am speaking, to the point that I even do it while speaking over the phone even though no one can actually see me. I can understand that people might see this as putting too much emphasis on things, but it’s how I relay information. Coincidentally, I use many hand gestures while I’m silent as well, which is probably part of the reason I’m such a quiet person.
I enjoy written communication a lot, because I can take the time to fully express my thoughts instead of just speaking before my brain has fully processed what I really want to say. The problem with written communication is that you lose vocal queues, so it’s easy for people to misinterpret what you are saying. From a joking standpoint, I miss out on speaking sarcastically, which is something I thoroughly enjoy.
All in all, I understand a lot about the ways that I communicate with people. Even though I may hesitate to communicate in a conversation or try to shirk away from communicating altogether, please know that I do so because I want to try to make sure I can properly convey messages to whoever it is I may be interacting with. This has been a public service announcement about yours truly. I hope you now understand me a little bit better.